My Parenting Toolkit

Take Home Points  Law of Chastity  Focusing on the spiritual aspects of sex, not just the physical aspects  Think about what you want sexuality to MEAN in your life - so you won't engage in certain behaviors because of what you want it to mean to you later when you do  Behavior is part of the law of chastity, but it is not the heart of the law Chastity is not an individual issue - a deeper appreciation of chastity is found in the relationships between two people - marriage is not a chastity "finish line"  It's something to express our divine nature and potential and a way of strengthening emotional and spiritual bonds between husband and wife  What is the goal?  Many parents just want to control the behavior of their child by using the idea that the behavior is wrong or sinful  Teaching that sexual feelings and behaviors are wrong, sinful, or something to be ashamed of can bring devastating long-term effects Emphasize the beauty a...

Take Home Points  Emerging Adulthood  Quality of parent-child relationship seems to be key College students are generally more successful at finishing when parents assist financially  Parenting styles are not the same during emerging adulthood  Parents are confused and they don't know how to parent children when they're in emerging adulthood - different types of parenting emerge at this point because they don't really know what to do to parent their children  Children with parents who paid for everything were engaging in risk behavior  Children with parents who paid for nothing felt the most like adults but struggled  Children do the best when parents can pay for somethings and they pay for the rest  Types of Parental Expectations for College  The Career-Building Experience (17%)  College is when economic life opportunities are forged and specialized skills are achieved with the end goal of economic success  T...

Take Home Points  Media Effects on Children  Heavy media use is associated with lower attention and academic achievement  Educational media is associated with increased academic achievement and literacy  Prosocial media is associated with more sympathy and prosocial behavior  Disney movies have very high amounts of prosocial behavior  Violent media is associated with aggression, long and short-term  Advertising of cigarettes and drugs is associated with smoking/drinking  Sexual media is associated with permissive sexual attitudes and earlier sexual debut  Media Content  Superhero movies have prosocial violence - it's violence with a moral means  For little kids they don't understand what is the difference between what is real and not real and they don't know when they should and shouldn't use that violence  Vast majority of programs contain violence in which the perpetrator neither displayed remorse nor r...

Take Home Points  Teach to Recognize Feelings  Maintain sacred "unplugged" times so children can socialize and practice reading emotions  Children are not reading emotions because they are spending more time plugged into media and need more time face-to-face in order to learn to read emotions  Provide emotional language  Read books about feelings  Fostering Moral Identity Use character-focused praise  Using the noun form over the verb  "You are a helper!" is better than "You are helping!"  Character-focused blame is bad!  Praise should not be focused on effort  Model responsibility for children  If I were the only example my child had to learn moral identity, what did she learn today?  Set standards for what you value as a family  Practice defending beliefs  Encourage self-talk I know who I am and that is not me  Is it true, is it necessary, is it kind?  Fostering Perspe...

Take Home Points Important Points to Recall  Boys and girls are more similar than different  The most difference is found within genders (there are more differences between different types of girls or different types of boys than there are between boys and girls)  Girls are not more emotional than boys  There are no differences in talkativeness, activity at birth, or self-esteem  Brain Differences  Boys' brains are bigger, but girls' brains are more wrinkled and have more gray matter  Brain development is finished about 2 years earlier in girls than boys  There's a small cluster in the hypothalamus of girls that could be linked to menstruation  For Parents to Consider  TALK, TALK, TALK to both boys and girls  Encourage physical activity in girls and boys both  Read every night  Use a second language as a parent  Snuggle and wrestle  Play sports  Get puzzles, mazes, blocks, dolls Av...

Take Home Points Defining the Problem: Self-Esteem Movement  This movement focuses on how children feel instead of focusing on what the child does and causes them to be more at risk for depression  The focus on competition and rewarding hard work has been replaced with wanting to make sure everyone feels valued Failure and Flow  Flow it the feeling of being completely at home  In order to achieve flow parents need to allow their children to fail so they can correct and persevere and learn to do well  Success does not come without frustration and failure and then getting back up and continuing  ABCDE Model  A - Adversity  B - Beliefs  C - Consequences (feelings)  D - Disputations (challenge the validity of your interpretations)  E - Energization (subsequent emotional response)  When children are faced with adversity or a stressful situation this model helps them confront what they are feelings and come up w...

Brain Development Background  Children's Brains Don't Work The Same As Ours  Egocentrism - inability to see from another's point of view  Children are not inherently selfish, they seem that way because they will bring you their favorite thing instead of your favorite thing because they think it will bring you the same happiness it brings them.  Centration - attention to one element of a situation  Children cannot see the whole picture  Theory of Mind - ability to understand that other people's thoughts and ways of thinking are different from their own  Children think they you are thinking the same thing that they are thinking and thus will not often clarify what they say  The first three years are critical for brain development  Quality of relationships is most essential for making brain connections, learning, and bonding  (In-class lecture, Padilla-Walker, 2019)  Left/Right vs Upstairs/Downstairs Brain...

Pregnancy  First Trimester (0-3 months)  Zygote Period - (Weeks 1-2)  Most people don't know they are pregnant  Embryo Period (Weeks 3-8) Most critical period for teratogens  Must be critical about what is going into the body  Fetus Period (Weeks 9-12)  Baby develops fully  Second Trimester (3-6 months)  Baby grows rapidly, movements detected, wax protects skin from anionic fluid - all neurons in brain produced, eyes sensitive to light Third Trimester (6-9 months)   Lungs develop, baby's brain and CNS are developing, baby gains weight  If baby is born at 38 weeks they are considered full term  Sensitive Periods of Prenatal Development    First 8 weeks are critical for growth of the baby  Foods to Avoid  Raw food Processed meats (hot dogs, lunch meats...)  Unpasteurized dairy (brie, feta, etc...)  Fish Supplements ( this does not mean prenatal vita...